If your house is anything like ours, maybe you've been all a-buzz this last month or so with Christmas preparations. I don't remember much about Christmas last year, of course, so these last few weeks have been eye opening. We kicked off with a tree in a box (spoiler alert - fake, fake, fake sticks!!). The family acted like this was totally normal, including Mom's fits while she worked to make the parts come together to look like a real tree, but I gotta hand it to them - that tree looks darn good!
Big Brother has been reading a Bible verse every night, where each night's verse adds a little more to the story. He gets the slips of paper from a wooden calendar that has kid treats in it, and I'm just a little bit chapped that we've done it 23 times now, and not once has there been a dog treat!
"But, Gus, you can't read!" Mom said. A likely excuse!
"We're supposed to be a team here, you know," I replied. "I know you're the one putting the treats in there. Wouldn't it be just a little bit funny if, just once, he pulled out one of my treats?"
Mom smiled. She does love a little joke. "Ok Gus," she agreed. "I can slip something in there for you tonight." Oh, I can't wait! Can't wait to hear how the story ends - Mom said tonight's the night- and can't wait to see Big Brother's face when he slides open that drawer. He really likes a little joke, so I know we're all gonna laugh, and I'm gonna have the last one.
Lots of other activities have consumed our time - Mom has baked more cookies in the last six weeks than any dog should have to endure. . . oh, those tempting smells. Mom did take pity on me - finally! - last week and let me taste a nibble of a sugar cookie with red and green sugar sprinkled over it. If that's what Christmas tastes like, I'm all in! The family went out to drive around and look at Christmas lights - I declined the invitation, cause sometimes I'm just too worn out from dog camp to rally for evening activities.
But one Christmas activity I can really get behind, though, is movies. Man, we've watched a lot! Mostly we've had a good variety of serious, funny, and heartwarming, with tones of the real meaning of this season intermingled somewhere in them all. But Dad has a thing for one Christmas story in particular - A Christmas Carol, that classic Dickens tale about the old mizer Ebenezer Scrooge, whose journey through time opens his eyes to the world around him. The first time through, it was a great story. The second time through, still pretty good. But after you've seen it seven times, it loses its luster. Now, we're not watching the same exact movie over and over again. No, sir. We've watched seven different versions - from Mickey Mouse to Patrick Stewart and most everything in between - 1935, 1938, 1951, 1983, 1984, 1999, and 2009. Dad doesn't necessarily have a favorite, but he has favorite characters. For instance, George C. Scott is his favorite Scrooge (1984); Fezziwig in the 1999 version is, according to Dad, the best Fezziwig; and 1938's Fred is the best in that category. I have my own opinions after being forced to watch all versions, but mostly after about the fourth one, all I could think about was how it would be so much better with dogs!
Seriously, think about it. If Disney can have a mouse hero, why couldn't someone just use real dogs?! I've had plenty of time to think about it, and I've got some ideas. First, Scrooge. You need a big dog for this, I think . . . one that may not like people so much, but could be shown the error of his ways. For this role, I vote my cousin Zeus. He is a massive and beautiful boxer who belongs to Uncle Leo and Aunt Connie. At our Christmas party last week for Mom's side of the family, while Aunt Connie was raving about how well socialized I am, she noted that Zeus hasn't had many opportunities to mix and mingle. Poor fella. But because of this, he'd be the perfect Scrooge.
My Uncle Bailey would be a perfect Cratchit. He belongs to my human grandparents, and while he could also probably audition for the role of Scrooge, he can also slide into the Cratchit slot, because he seems a little nervous and downtrodden whenever we meet. Yet he is adorable and will melt the appropriate hearts.
He'd also be a good match for Cousin Petunia, who is just the right combination of sweet and sassy to be Mrs. Cratchit, who is clearly Mom's favorite character (1999's is the best, she says - see, we all end up doing the rating thing after too much exposure). She'll look mighty fine in her poofy bonnet that was the fad back then.
Mom said she thinks Maurice the Mutt, who lives next door, would be a perfect Marley, because he's always waking us up at all hours with his yapping. I laughed, because that is spot on. We'd need some other ghosts, and I could cover that with friends from dog camp, and we'd need a crew of family dogs for the Cratchit kids. I think I'd ask my Uncle Dan and Aunt Terry's dogs to fill in there - they have a whole handful of different shapes and sizes, and well, they're family.
But what about that most important role of Tiny Tim? Oh, you know where this is going. In the end, when you look at the three pieces - past, present, and future - the Christmas present piece of the story is my favorite, and it's all about Tim really. Dad says I can't play Tiny Tim because I'm not really tiny, and I'm certainly not lame.
"Uh, Dad," I said dryly. "It's called acting."
And, hey, it's as cold as a penguin's beak outside where we live right now, and if I slip one more time on the iced up patio, I might just be lame in time for the filming! But either way, I can sure see myself in Tiny Tim - the apple of everyone's eye, everyone's top concern, the one everyone wants to snuggle and love. Why even my oboe playing would be a welcome sound! Yes, for sure, this role was made for me. So, as I sit by the fire this Christmas Eve, waiting for Big Brother to read the end of the true story of Christmas, I'm working on my Tiny Gus, I mean Tim, role. So wherever you are today and whatever Christmas means to you, I say to you, "God bless us, every one!"
Comments